This morning I woke having a weird dream. In the dream my first boyfriend (now deceased) came to me and presented a thin and frail girl telling me that she was our child. I looked at him saying, ”That is impossible because I have not had a child.” The girl came over to me and gave me a tender hug and then felt my pockets to see if I had money she could steal. I caught her and was disappointed. The boyfriend left with her to take her somewhere. I called him and told him to take me off speaker phone in his truck so I could tell him something important. I explained what had happened and that she was a fraud and was sent to rob him. I woke sad and disappointed.
The dream made me reflect on my past and my choices. I was sad for so many choices that I have made that seemed to be wrong or poor choices. First of all, I have never been pregnant and therefore have no children. I am sad about that. I regretted my actions and choices in past relationships. I started to second guess myself and ponder many of my biggest decisions. Disappointment, doubt, even depression started to fill my head and heart.
What a place to start a morning. If I had stayed on this path, the enemy would have accomplished ruining my day. We all have things we regret and wish we could change from our past. The past has passed. There is NOTHING we can do to change it. Our enemy wants us captive to it though. If we can be distracted by it we can miss what today has for us. Playing the game of “What If…” “If Only..” Daydreaming and wasting our time dreaming about what could have been. It makes us discontent with our present circumstances. We can get stuck here and make more poor choices based on the emotions that build from these thoughts.
This is one of those cases where the phrase, “nip it in the bud” is very appropriate. If we entertain these initial thoughts and feelings, it is like we are allowing a seed of a weed to take root. We pay it attention and fertilize it and water it with more emotions and attention. It grows and the roots get deeper. It buds and blooms and we still don’t cut it down or dig it out. Before we know it, this small idea has become a stronghold such as a habit or sin. It’s now like a gum tree that no longer can be dealt with easily. (I have several gum trees in my yard and don’t like them because they are so hard to get rid of. They have roots that spread in all direction and aren’t easily killed even when you cut the tree down). This weed has become a tree that now takes heavy equipment to take it out and will leave a huge hole when removed. The hole can be painful just like hole in our flesh. I am thankful that Jesus Christ came to set the captives free. He can remove these traps that hold us captive and even repair the damage if we allow Jesus to. It is easier to “nip it in the bud” before the budding weed grows too big cut it out with ease. Pinch the top off and kill it in its infancy. Its much easier than cutting down and digging up the tree.
I am thankful to the Lord that He uses all things for His good purposes. I confident in this. No matter how bad I have seemed to mess things up, the Lord will use these mess ups to be a blessing to me or someone else. I can see this truth as I look back over my life. I have always looked for something to learn from each experience. There is always a lesson to learn no matter how painful it is. With all of these lessons, I should be very wise!!! Ha! Ha! Challenge yourself to look for the lessons in all your experiences and focus on the present. We don’t know what tomorrow brings. We can plan and prepare for it but until it gets here, we will not be able to do anything about it either. Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” There is a reason it is called the PRESENT because it is a gift. Live in the present. Enjoy and celebrate now! “This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it!” Psalm 118:24
Lord, we thank you that you can take our messes and make them into something beautiful that can bless us and others. Lord, help us to give our regrets and disappointments over to you. Remove from us the emotions attached to these events and experiences. We lay these thoughts, ideas, regrets, worries, and disappointments at the foot of the cross. Cover us and these things with your blood. Wash us clean and clear away the traps the enemy has laid for us in these thoughts and emotions. Help us to stay in the present to be effective ministers and light bearers in the darkness of this world. Do not let the enemy distract us. Guard us and protect us for these pitfalls. Help us to rejoice today and celebrate your goodness and love! In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen